Books

"A thoughtful, careful approach to creating an electrifying erotic connection with another person—useful not just for a beginner just exploring this aspect of sexuality, but for the person well into their kink journey."
Richard A. Sprott, Ph.D. Sexual Outsiders: Understanding BDSM Sexualities and Communities
"Absolutely the best, most grounded book I've read on the topic of consensual dominance and submission. If I'd had this book a quarter century ago, it would have saved me (and my partners!) untold frustration."
Janet W. Hardy The Topping Book, The Sexually Dominant Woman, The Ethical Slut

For many people, FetLife is their primary access point to the world of kink, but though Fet is a fire hose of sexy images, dirty fantasies and fetish-filled user profiles, it can be exceedingly difficult to reach through the screen and make a human connection. This pay-what-you-choose ebook is your guide to leveraging FetLife in your search for love, play, community and kinky fulfillment.

Retreat

The Power & Intimacy retreat is a place to enhance your power exchange relationship, whether you’re just beginning to explore the romance of dominance and submission with your partner(s), or looking to take an existing power dynamic to the next level.

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Workshops

Classroom learning can be a fantastic opportunity to benefit from the wisdom, perspectives and support of a whole room full of people who are as passionate about the subject as you are. It’s especially valuable on taboo topics like kink, where opportunities for frank conversations with others are relatively uncommmon.

I love facilitating workshops on power exchange related topics. Click through to see descriptions of some of my favorite programs, and please reach out if you’re interested in having me come teach in your community.

 

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Essays

The Pleasure of Wanting

Do you live in the Bay Area? On November 5 I’ll be teaching Orgasm Denial for Society of Janus. Come join me! October is wrapping up, and the Great December Gift Orgy is coming into view on the horizon. Is there something you want, but you’re going to have to wait two long months until […]

If You’re Accused by Someone You’ve Played With, You’re Guilty

If anyone you’ve played with accuses you of mistreating them, you are guilty of playing with them in such a way as to leave them feeling mistreated. If you’re sure they agreed to the things you did with them, and they say they didn’t, you are guilty of failing to communicate. If they did agree […]

I ♥ Consensual Objectification

One of my all time favorite sex toys is the Fleshlight that a partner of mine carries around for me between her legs. It’s right where a person’s genitals would be, but we’ve long established that she is not a real person and does not have genitals of her own. A person’s genitals, after all, […]

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