Books

"A thoughtful, careful approach to creating an electrifying erotic connection with another person—useful not just for a beginner just exploring this aspect of sexuality, but for the person well into their kink journey."
Richard A. Sprott, Ph.D. Sexual Outsiders: Understanding BDSM Sexualities and Communities
"Absolutely the best, most grounded book I've read on the topic of consensual dominance and submission. If I'd had this book a quarter century ago, it would have saved me (and my partners!) untold frustration."
Janet W. Hardy The Topping Book, The Sexually Dominant Woman, The Ethical Slut

For many people, FetLife is their primary access point to the world of kink, but though Fet is a fire hose of sexy images, dirty fantasies and fetish-filled user profiles, it can be exceedingly difficult to reach through the screen and make a human connection. This pay-what-you-choose ebook is your guide to leveraging FetLife in your search for love, play, community and kinky fulfillment.

Retreat

The Power & Intimacy retreat is a place to enhance your power exchange relationship, whether you’re just beginning to explore the romance of dominance and submission with your partner(s), or looking to take an existing power dynamic to the next level.

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Workshops

Classroom learning can be a fantastic opportunity to benefit from the wisdom, perspectives and support of a whole room full of people who are as passionate about the subject as you are. It’s especially valuable on taboo topics like kink, where opportunities for frank conversations with others are relatively uncommmon.

I love facilitating workshops on power exchange related topics. Click through to see descriptions of some of my favorite programs, and please reach out if you’re interested in having me come teach in your community.

 

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A workshop full of tools

Essays

Dominant is Not a Species

“Mallard” is a species. A mallard is born a mallard and will be a mallard until it dies, and nothing that was not born a mallard can ever become one. Being a mallard entails a cluster of traits that all mallards share. All mallards have bills, wings and two webbed feet. All mallards swim and […]

Kink Has Always Been Political

You’ve heard of the Marquis de Sade, right? The guy whose name we use for sadism? You probably know that he wrote some extraordinarily dirty books, but some of you have missed that he was also a political satirist. His magnum opus, 120 Days of Sodom, is about an Aristocrat, a Bishop, a Judge and […]

The Romance of Restraint

In between all the screaming and begging and cumming, there are deeper lessons available to be learned in the practice of kink. One of those lessons is about the romance of restraint. We all know that rope is sexy and heavy steel manacles are sexy. Rigid protocol is sexy, and so is turning basic functions […]

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