Essay

Unfair

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Once upon a time, a long while ago, I had this lovely hot play date. We started off with her making a fancy dinner in service to me, and I directed her through serving it with all the naked, kneeling, submissive flourishes. I started toying with her at the table and continued through the rest […]

Dominant Technique

The Onion of Desire

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Do you crave being made to suffer in ways you hate? Do you simultaneously care deeply about your partner’s happiness and want to treat them like their feelings don’t matter? Do you want to struggle and strain to move against restraints that hold you helplessly in place? Do you love watching your partner cum, and […]

Essay

Keeping it Kinky Through a Parade of Catastrophes

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The pandemic is dragging on with a million dead, and it’s starting to sink in that “back to normal” isn’t on the horizon. The climate catastrophe is accelerating; changing from a long-looming threat to an immediate tragedy for more and more people who are living under choking skies or picking their belongings out of flooded […]

Essay

Dominant is Not a Species

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“Mallard” is a species. A mallard is born a mallard and will be a mallard until it dies, and nothing that was not born a mallard can ever become one. Being a mallard entails a cluster of traits that all mallards share. All mallards have bills, wings and two webbed feet. All mallards swim and […]

Essay

Kink Has Always Been Political

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You’ve heard of the Marquis de Sade, right? The guy whose name we use for sadism? You probably know that he wrote some extraordinarily dirty books, but some of you have missed that he was also a political satirist. His magnum opus, 120 Days of Sodom, is about an Aristocrat, a Bishop, a Judge and […]

Essay

The Romance of Restraint

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In between all the screaming and begging and cumming, there are deeper lessons available to be learned in the practice of kink. One of those lessons is about the romance of restraint. We all know that rope is sexy and heavy steel manacles are sexy. Rigid protocol is sexy, and so is turning basic functions […]

Uncategorized

Desirable Men

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Over on FetLife, posting sexy pictures is a big deal. Perving all those pictures is the main draw of the site for many users. Posting them and having them appreciated can be a source of validation and exhibitionistic enjoyment for the creators. There’s even kind of popularity contest in the form of the “Kinky&Popular” page […]

Announcement

The Pleasure of Wanting

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Do you live in the Bay Area? On November 5 I’ll be teaching Orgasm Denial for Society of Janus. Come join me! October is wrapping up, and the Great December Gift Orgy is coming into view on the horizon. Is there something you want, but you’re going to have to wait two long months until […]

Essay

I ♥ Consensual Objectification

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One of my all time favorite sex toys is the Fleshlight that a partner of mine carries around for me between her legs. It’s right where a person’s genitals would be, but we’ve long established that she is not a real person and does not have genitals of her own. A person’s genitals, after all, […]