Dominant Technique

Four Ways to Punish Your Submissive

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“What are some ways I can punish my submissive?” is a super common question in kinky circles. And usually the answer it gets is some brusque version of “Figure it out for yourself.” That answer has a point. It is true that it’s best for the choice of how (and whether) to punish to flow […]

Dominant Technique

Whatever I Want, Whenever I Want It

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“I will do whatever I want to you, whenever I want to do it.” For a lot of folks that is an insanely hot fantasy, while also provoking a lot of anxiety when they start thinking about the daily practicalities. I mean, how sexy is it to know that you exist as a toy for […]

Dominant Technique

The Onion of Desire

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Do you crave being made to suffer in ways you hate? Do you simultaneously care deeply about your partner’s happiness and want to treat them like their feelings don’t matter? Do you want to struggle and strain to move against restraints that hold you helplessly in place? Do you love watching your partner cum, and […]

Announcement

The Pleasure of Wanting

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Do you live in the Bay Area? On November 5 I’ll be teaching Orgasm Denial for Society of Janus. Come join me! October is wrapping up, and the Great December Gift Orgy is coming into view on the horizon. Is there something you want, but you’re going to have to wait two long months until […]

Dominant Technique

How to Discipline

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“The only discipline that lasts is self-discipline.” —Bum Phillips “Discipline” is a very popular, very sexy concept for those of us who love power exchange, but what is discipline, really, and how does it work? Discipline is responding with a crisp “Yes, Sir!” every time we receive an order. Discipline is noticing and correcting every […]

Dominant Technique

Consensualy Masterful

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There’s this seeming paradox in what’s expected of those of us who aspire to dominate. On the one hand, we’re supposed to be masterful. We’re supposed to be the kind of people who always have to have things their own way, and who bend others to their will. On the other hand, we’re supposed to […]