“What are some ways I can punish my submissive?” is a super common question in kinky circles. And usually the answer it gets is some brusque version of “Figure it out for yourself.” That answer has a point. It is true that it’s best for the choice of how (and whether) to punish to flow […]
“I will do whatever I want to you, whenever I want to do it.” For a lot of folks that is an insanely hot fantasy, while also provoking a lot of anxiety when they start thinking about the daily practicalities. I mean, how sexy is it to know that you exist as a toy for […]
1. Mollena Williams-Haas is one of the wisest, realest voices on M/s dynamics I’ve ever found. Go watch The Artist and the Pervert, then pick up a copy of Playing Well With Others for an excellent guide to the human side of kink. 2. Feminista Jones writes and speaks about feminism in mainstream spaces (think […]
Once upon a time, a long while ago, I had this lovely hot play date. We started off with her making a fancy dinner in service to me, and I directed her through serving it with all the naked, kneeling, submissive flourishes. I started toying with her at the table and continued through the rest […]
Do you crave being made to suffer in ways you hate? Do you simultaneously care deeply about your partner’s happiness and want to treat them like their feelings don’t matter? Do you want to struggle and strain to move against restraints that hold you helplessly in place? Do you love watching your partner cum, and […]
The pandemic is dragging on with a million dead, and it’s starting to sink in that “back to normal” isn’t on the horizon. The climate catastrophe is accelerating; changing from a long-looming threat to an immediate tragedy for more and more people who are living under choking skies or picking their belongings out of flooded […]
“Mallard” is a species. A mallard is born a mallard and will be a mallard until it dies, and nothing that was not born a mallard can ever become one. Being a mallard entails a cluster of traits that all mallards share. All mallards have bills, wings and two webbed feet. All mallards swim and […]
You’ve heard of the Marquis de Sade, right? The guy whose name we use for sadism? You probably know that he wrote some extraordinarily dirty books, but some of you have missed that he was also a political satirist. His magnum opus, 120 Days of Sodom, is about an Aristocrat, a Bishop, a Judge and […]
In between all the screaming and begging and cumming, there are deeper lessons available to be learned in the practice of kink. One of those lessons is about the romance of restraint. We all know that rope is sexy and heavy steel manacles are sexy. Rigid protocol is sexy, and so is turning basic functions […]
Do you live in the Bay Area? On November 5 I’ll be teaching Orgasm Denial for Society of Janus. Come join me! October is wrapping up, and the Great December Gift Orgy is coming into view on the horizon. Is there something you want, but you’re going to have to wait two long months until […]