Dominant is Not a Species
“Mallard” is a species. A mallard is born a mallard and will be a mallard until it dies, and nothing that was […]
Category: Essay
Kink Has Always Been Political
You’ve heard of the Marquis de Sade, right? The guy whose name we use for sadism? You probably know that he wrote […]
The Romance of Restraint
In between all the screaming and begging and cumming, there are deeper lessons available to be learned in the practice of kink. […]
The Pleasure of Wanting
Do you live in the Bay Area? On November 5 I’ll be teaching Orgasm Denial for Society of Janus. Come join me! […]
If You’re Accused by Someone You’ve Played With, You’re Guilty
If anyone you’ve played with accuses you of mistreating them, you are guilty of playing with them in such a way as […]
I ♥ Consensual Objectification
One of my all time favorite sex toys is the Fleshlight that a partner of mine carries around for me between her […]
Surrender
I bring my hand down hard on the tender upper part of her inner thigh. She gasps and tenses. Her whole body […]
“Nice Guy” and “Bad Boy” Aren’t Your Only Options
“Women say they want nice guys, but really they go for the bad boy.” This narrative is based on two really dumb […]
Kink Shaming, and What It Isn’t
The idea of kink shaming as a thing to avoid is a useful concept, and like all useful concepts it can be […]
How to Find Partners on FetLife
Y’all know what FetLife is, right? Big social media site for kinksters? So far as I know it’s the biggest, widest-spread group […]