“Nice Guy” and “Bad Boy” Aren’t Your Only Options
“Women say they want nice guys, but really they go for the bad boy.” This narrative is based on two really dumb […]
New Book: The Dominance Playbook
When I published The Heart of Dominance, I wasn’t sure if anyone other than few friends was going to buy it. Finding […]
Kink Shaming, and What It Isn’t
The idea of kink shaming as a thing to avoid is a useful concept, and like all useful concepts it can be […]
How to Find Partners on FetLife
Y’all know what FetLife is, right? Big social media site for kinksters? So far as I know it’s the biggest, widest-spread group […]
Starting Your Power Exchange Over
An excerpt from my upcoming book “Ways to Play With Power,” posted in response to someone in the Novices & Newbies group […]
How to Find a Real Dominant
“How can I find a real dominant?” is one of the most common and most urgent questions asked in kink communities all […]
Clarify, Chastise, Ask: How to Deal with Submissive Resistance
Resistance, as I’m using the word here, is the frustrating experience of wanting to submit but having a hard time actually letting […]
How to Disagree With Your Dominant
So you have a dominant who you feel lucky to get to submit to. You trust them. You respect their judgment. You’re […]
Real Submissive Training
There are a lot of folks around our communities who are eager to be trained as s-types. They want to be appealing […]
How to Discipline
“The only discipline that lasts is self-discipline.” —Bum Phillips “Discipline” is a very popular, very sexy concept for those of us who […]